The 2023/24 Premier League season was an absolute fever dream. We had title races that went down to the wire, points deductions flying around like confetti, and billion-pound squads playing like Sunday League teams. But amidst all the tactical chaos, the one thing that actually mattered remained the same: putting the ball in the back of the net.
The race for the Golden Boot this season was a bizarre mix of established legends doing their usual thing, a few unexpected names having the season of their lives, and one massive Norwegian cyborg continuing to terrorize English defenses.
Let’s take a brutal, honest look at the top goalscorers of the 23/24 campaign. Some carried their entire clubs on their backs, while others just stat-padded. Here is the definitive breakdown.
23/24 EPL Top Scorers Revealed
- 1st: Erling Braut Håland - 27 goals
- 2nd: Cole Jermaine Palmer - 22 goals
- 3rd: Alexander Isak - 21 goals
- Tied 4th: Philip Walter Foden - 19 goals
- Tied 4th: Dominic Solanke - 19 goals
- Tied 4th: Ollie Watkins - 19 goals
- 7th: Mohamed Salah - 18 goals
- 8th: Son Heung-min - 17 goals
- Tied 9th: Jean-Philippe Mateta - 16 goals
- Tied 9th: Bukayo Saka - 16 goals
Tied 9th: Bukayo Saka - 16 goals
Arsenal’s Starboy. It feels like Saka plays 90 minutes every single week, gets kicked to pieces by opposition fullbacks for about 85 of those minutes, limps off, and then somehow starts the next game and scores. 16 goals for a winger who is constantly double-teamed is no joke. Arsenal's entire attacking system practically begs him to produce a moment of magic, and he usually delivers.
Tied 9th: Jean-Philippe Mateta - 16 goals
The biggest glitch in the matrix this season. Before Oliver Glasner took over Crystal Palace, Mateta was a meme—a striker who looked like he was wearing jeans on the pitch. Suddenly, around February, he morphed into prime Didier Drogba. He started destroying center-backs, kicking corner flags into orbit, and bagging 16 goals. A truly bizarre and beautiful redemption arc.
8th: Son Heung-min - 17 goals
When Harry Kane left for Bayern Munich, everyone assumed Tottenham would finish 14th. Enter "Ange-ball" and Son moving to a central role. Unsurprisingly, Sonny just kept doing what he has done for nearly a decade: outperforming his Expected Goals (xG) like a clinical madman. 17 goals while carrying the burden of the captaincy and a constantly rotating cast of attackers around him. He remains one of the most underappreciated legends in PL history.
7th: Mohamed Salah - 18 goals
People genuinely looked at Mo Salah this season and said, "He looks a bit washed." That is the ridiculous standard this man has set. A "bad" season for the Egyptian King is 18 league goals and dragging Liverpool's chaotic forward line into a title race for 80% of the season. Yes, he looked exhausted by May, but 18 goals on a "down year" is a stat most wingers would sell their soul for.
Tied 4th: Ollie Watkins - 19 goals
Aston Villa in the Champions League. Let that sink in. And the main reason they are there is Ollie Watkins. 19 non-penalty goals and leading the league in assists. Unai Emery turned him from a hard-working runner into an absolute terminator in the box. He was arguably the most complete forward in the league this year.
Tied 4th: Dominic Solanke - 19 goals
Remember years ago when Liverpool signed Solanke, and everyone laughed? Bournemouth fans aren't laughing now. After years of grinding, Solanke finally unlocked his wonderkid potential. 19 goals for a mid-table side is a monumental achievement. He bullied elite center-backs all season and proved that sometimes, patience actually pays off in modern football.
Tied 4th: Philip Foden - 19 goals
The Premier League Player of the Season. When Kevin De Bruyne spent half the year injured, Pep Guardiola needed someone to step up. The 'Stockport Iniesta' responded by turning into prime Messi for about four months. Those left-footed strikes from outside the box became an absolute cheat code. 19 goals from midfield/wide areas is absurd, and he basically won City the title on the final day.
3rd: Alexander Isak - 21 goals
When Isak runs with the ball, he genuinely looks like Thierry Henry gliding across the Emirates pitch in 2004. He is effortlessly smooth, technically flawless, and cold-blooded in front of the keeper. If he didn't have hamstrings made of wet paper and could actually stay fit for 38 games, he would be giving Håland a serious run for the Golden Boot.
2nd: Cole Palmer - 22 goals
"Cold Palmer." Manchester City sold him to Chelsea for £40m, and he proceeded to single-handedly drag a billion-pound banter squad into European football. Sure, rival fans cried about his penalties ("Pen Palmer"), but when you actually watch him play, his football IQ is off the charts. He looked completely unbothered by the chaos around him. Carrying Chelsea at 21 years old is a feat that deserves a statue outside Stamford Bridge.
1st: Erling Håland - 27 goals
This is the funniest part of the season. Every pundit on TV spent 9 months saying, "Håland looks a bit off this year," "His link-up play is poor," and "He is missing too many big chances." He also missed nearly two months of the season with a foot injury.
His reward? Winning the Golden Boot by a five-goal margin anyway. He doesn't need to be involved in the buildup. He doesn't need to look elegant. He just stands in the box and violently forces the ball into the net. The robot had a "bad" season and still completely destroyed the rest of the league. It's almost unfair.
The Wrap-Up: RIP to the "False 9" Era
If this season taught us anything, it's that the hipster obsession with playing midfielders as a 'False 9' is officially dead. Look at the top of this list: Håland, Isak, Solanke, Watkins. Actual, proper, traditional strikers are back in fashion, and they are eating defenses alive.
If your club isn't deploying a giant physical freak or an ice-cold poacher up top next season, you are going to get left behind.
Drop your wildest Golden Boot prediction for the 24/25 season in the comments below. And consider yourselves warned: if anyone unironically comments 'Antony,' you are getting permanently blocked.
